Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I applied for lots of jobs today! Like with salaries and everything! Now all I need is something with chocolate in it, a miracle, and some patience. Seriously, though, paying my rent in halves is KIND of killing me right now. Don't think my landlord is a fan either...

OMG ALL I WANT IS FAST FOOD -- is it because I am stressed, or is it because I am ME?? I think on the inside I am actually made out of tiny, tiny french fries. Seriously, once the olde metabolism slows down, lord help me.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

the bachelorette

The summer is hard without my tv shows. But what I DO have is "The Bachelorette" and now Monday is again an accepted day of the week for me.

How would I do as the bachelorette (I wonder)? I mean, if people want to just find me 25 guys that seem perfect for me, I'm okay with that. No Bentleys. NO Jakes. I want some McLovins, Andrew Garfields, Matthew Lewises (hel-LO Mr. Grown Up Neville Longbottom, and may I say, you turned out DELIGHTFUL), Darren Crisses, Ryan Goslings, Wil Wheatons, James McAvoys, Joseph Gordan Levitts, Joel McHales, and the like. Don't think that's too much to ask. Really. It's ridiculous that it hasn't already been arranged. I am reality tv gold. Someone get on this.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I think I would like it if a ham was a mascot for a team, and the team was called the Hamhocks. Nothing scarier? weirder? more delicious? than a giant ham running your way.

Consider this my return to the blogosphere.

(Mary, this is for you!)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

a thought

Isn't it weird to think that intestines are so long and windy (whine-dee) but that we have them IN OUR BODIES?

Yeah, that kind of really freaks me out. Because it's a little gross.

Also I hate it when they are called "entrails". I probably would've hated it in the middle ages too, which seems to be when they called them "entrails" all the time.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

will you be my valentine, self?

Apparently I am not one for committing to a blog. Whenever I make a faithful commitment to write in it, I seem to suddenly stop writing in it. Curious, very curious.

It's almost February. Which means it's almost Valentine's Day. Now, I'm not one of those people who gets all, "VALENTINE'S DAY IS STUPID!" as soon as the "holiday" rolls around. Let's remind ourselves, friends, that we can be our own Valentines. That can mean buying Chinese take out and watching a marathon of 30 Rock episodes. It can mean making a giant ice cream sundae for one. It can mean going to Blockbuster and buying 3 movies for $20 because you deserve it, dammit! It can mean getting to Walgreen's RIGHT after prime candy selling time and getting those big Reese's hearts for 50% off. Delicious! And no one will be all mopey because I'm not paying attention to them. Isn't that beautiful?

Celebrate yourself this year, especially if you get the urge to sit around feeling sorry and "lonely". Come ON people! If you can't love the one you're with (you!) then you are missing out on one of the best and most important relationships of your life. If YOU can't make yourself happy, then how is anyone else supposed to?

Love and kisses and a whole pile of delightful books to read,