Monday, August 23, 2010

my invention

Next time someone cuts me off on the expressway, cuts in front of me because they switched to the merging lane and flew past everyone else to get where they want to go 1 minute faster than the rest of us, rides my bumper like they are willing me down the road, or just generally pisses me off while I am driving, I shall press a button, and out will shoot a little suction arrow with a message. It will attach to their vehicle. The message could be any of the following:

-You cut me off. You are a bitch.
-Your left brake light is out, and it's REALLY pissing me off.
-Yes, you are waaaay more important than everyone else. Why don't you just go around this whole merging business until you can't get any further and then pull in ahead of us? We won't kill you, we promise. But someday you WILL wake up and your tires will be gone.
-Get off my ass. I hate you.
-God smites those who are IDIOTS. That means you, jackass.
-No one thinks you are cool. Mostly because you lost your toupee when you crossed 8 lanes of traffic at 100 mph.
-Since you didn't let me in, Santa is cancelling Christmas and all the bees are going to die and you will have no one to blame but YOURSELF.

What else? Suggestions?

I feel better now!


  1. But i am more important.... :)

  2. dear katie,

    i know its been forever since we talked but somehow i stumbled upon your blog and you literally have me laughing outloud in barnes and nobel (yes there are 10+ people staring at me right now). anyways, I have enjoyed evading homework reading your ridiculous and wonderful thoughts. you are and will always be dear to my heart.