Friday, July 16, 2010

ways in which I would like to sign my letters

Letter signing is boring. "All my best," you may sign, not even knowing what all of your best actually is or what it involves. "Sincerely," you may write, when your true feelings are far from sincere. Or "From," possibly the most boring sign-off of all, without which your letter could be full of mystery and intrigue. So I've been thinking. What if I signed my letters like this?

All my best kittens,

Best sprinkles,

Regards to your goldfish,

From the lowest regions of hell,

Best wishes and dreams granted by your fairy Godmother,

Horrible, angry-faced cloud, rainy day wishes,

Yours truly unless I see you on the street in which case don't associate with me,

Your friend who loves cheese and WINE and drinking before 11am waaaaaaAAAaayYyy too much,

Congrats on your persevering to earn that potentially useless and very expensive degree,

Love from all the squirrels in the trees and the sky and the bushes and the secret rainbows too,

Many fluffy unicorns and pots of gold,

Oh god...there are just so many. Please, if you think of more, tell me. I am going to go write a whole pile of very short, delightfully signed letters now. Maybe YOU will get one :-O! (Probably not.)


  1. Wishing you a merry non-religious, but certainly joyful, celebration of a non-existent messiah's incorrect date of birth,

    With all the anger in the world,

    Fuck you,


    Brainstorm: we start a small business where we create cards with these very special sign-offs, sell them, and become indie/hipster godesses.